Who do you go to when there's nothing left?

We are what we seem to be. An honest man is perceived honest, not by the absoluteness of his words, but by the appearance of their sincerity. For man is not God, his judgments are not inscrutable. His mind knows not the heart and the underlying principle. Perception is not reality, but for man, it might as well be. This is not to say that the truth is without consequence, but that the perception is not perceived by the rational man. Man is both rational and irrational, but it is his perception that is a rational aspect of him. He demands that the Absolute appear rational, yet it does not. Reason does not stir all men to see this Absolute. Else all men would hold to the True Religion, or at least acknowledge its verity. But perception in man is the flaw, not the rationality of the Absolute. We are willing to admit that man is flawed, but unwilling to believe that there is a Truth which we cannot properly perceive. There is a veil between Truth and reality as we know it. We have had prophets and texts as mediators, hearing whispers from the other room. And even the Maker of the veil, who walks on both sides, is not perceived. Why? If it is in the plan of the Creator of reality, Truth, and veil, for men to perceive, then why do we not? Some claim to, some are honest in their conviction, others are charlatans, and yet we have no guarantee, no rationalization beyond unreasoned faith.
Reality is both sides of the veil, and mortal lives cannot behold its entirety. When reality lies before us, unveiled, all will be. Intuition will cease, with it, doubt, fear, and darkness itself. Perception and reason too, will die, for they will no longer be needed. The Unfathomable will be laid bare for us. Different angles, different points of perception simply will cease. All will be.
Here, on the dark side of the veil, we look at the sun, eclipsed with dark curtains, and we burn our eyes. We see visions, mirages in the searing light around the curtains’ edges. We play children’s games with the messages of the Whisperers. And we so often lose most of the message. Then we plug our ears with wax, for fear of failure. We cover our faces to protect our eyes in the vain hope that the searing light will become dimmer so that we might see. We hope for some darkened reflection to comfort us in our anger and despair. But we are the ones who have made ourselves deaf and blind. We turn away from the eclipse and enjoy the painless darkness.
But when the veil is lifted, and that searing light burns in its entirety—revealing Reality—our eyes, used only to the darkness we fled to, will be overwhelmed, and we will seek to gouge them out for relief. The heat will melt the wax in our ears, and we will find the Whisperers shouting in one thundering voice, and we will seek to impale our eardrums with spikes to stop the pain of their proclamation.
Our perceptions are what they seem to be—Infinite, but not God. We have already been divided. But when it is lifted, we will all see both sides of the veil, and will gape in unreasonable wonder without perception as we know it. The unreasonably favored will remain, and the unfavored will perish in their knowing. And all will be.

I was busy with school before I graduated... now I'm busy with school afterward.  Vicious masochistic cycle I'm running myself through eh?  Well... I'm still alive.  There are so many interesting things I could tell you...  I've had a lot of "experiences" working at a Christian pentecostal school.  I love it there... even if I'm not hip to the charismatic pentecostal thing.  But the environment for me (especially in my first year) is very pleasant... considering I have friends and associates in my cert. program who consider their class "good" because there's only been one fight in their room and they only got decked because they were trying to break the fight up... and their students refuse to read not because they're lazy like mine... but because they can't.  Anyway... I've got to wake up at 5am... so I'm off to bed.
I'd like to try and start blogging again.  I fear students finding my blog though.  Those of you who've known me for a while know I prefer to be candid with my thoughts... I wouldn't enjoy saying something and have it affect me harshly in the workplace.
Anywho... God speed ya'll.

James

Just an update.... I'm now employed as an English teacher at a private school here in Baton Rouge.  I'm teaching freshman and junior English.  Just thought I'd let everyone know.  Lots of things to keep me busy now.

Okay, so it's very hard to have a conversation with anybody about any "hot-button" worldview issues without them assuming they know your entire argument and worldview.  For instance, if I'm discussing homosexuality which I oppose morally, people will assume that I believe it is not an inherited gene but a choice, when in fact I believe it is more often than not genetic.  They also assume that I'm against gay marriage.  I'm against calling it "marriage," but I could care less of they have "civil unions."  I'm all for having the government recognize gay couples and giving them the same benefits and tax laws and inheritance laws as heterosexual couples have.  What business is it of the government to have a say in all of that?  Then again, I'm for less government anyway... and it helps that I don't actually believe this is a Christian nation.  It's not, never was, never has been.  The Puritans hoped it would be, many after them sought that too.  But that dream of a "city on a hill" failed.

Gays whine about being treated as second-class citizens.  I can say that they are treated that way... they're not lying or making it up.  They aren't being treated like blacks in the 60's mind you, but there's still a strong stigma.  But all sorts are treated like second-class citizens depending on where they are and where they're coming from.  Astro1701 wasn't too pleased with my complaint that Christians are often treated as second-class citizens because of their beliefs.  I think that's because many like astro feel that Christians deserve some ridicule and persecution.  (Astro didn't say this, but it is what I garnered from his subsequent comments).  What group of people have not at one time been the persecuted?  But shoot, what is persecution anyway?  Homosexuals have it damn good here compared to minority religious groups in some select foreign countries.  I'm talking about modern-day stuff, not WWII and Cold War era stuff.  That doesn't mean that it's okay to vandalize their homes or disrespect their persons though.  No matter what you think about a person's lifestyle, you can't commit violence--I don't care if "god" told you to do it... it ain't right. 

That's another thing that bothers me... this "violence for god" malarky.  It's a cop-out and it gives Christians a bad name.  It's a cop-out that's centuries old too.  Did someone say "Spanish Inquisition?"  There are bigots everywhere, in every religion or worldview.  Everyone is a hypocrite to some extent as well.

I find it amusing and rather sad actually, that an adult with presumably at least a high school education will feel the need to cuss about an issue and harangue someone (a stranger no less!) on assumptions and a difference of opinion.  I understand being fed up with an issue and with people who think your lifestyle is morally wrong... but the world is full of those people no matter who you are.  Be mature about it.  The Internet is not license to act like a donkey because you aren't looking someone in their face.  If you can't handle being a mature adult then don't bother responding to someone.  You aren't going to change their minds, if anything you worsen their attitude on the issue and make them desirous to fight harder against your cause.  You also aren't going to hurt their feelings... it's the Internet, and they don't know you.  They don't teach how to appropriately speak to people anymore.  When I get my English class, we're going to start.  I'm simply amazed at the ignorance of people in the way of simple communication.

I labeled the courses so you know what they are.  *sigh*  I was actually worried about passing Political Science because I didn't go to class for almost all of April.  I must have impressed my History professor (or the TA) because I got a B+ on the first test and a C+ on the second... He mentioned looking for improvement... so I read the text book straight through the area we had covered right before the test... I highly recommend this method.  The terms tend to stick and while dates often fail, you remember who did what.  Judaism and Post-Colonial Indian Lit I must have impressed on the final papers.  It makes me feel good to go out with a bang like this.  I was just hoping to get through... but I get Dean's List... :-)  Yay for me!

 

Spring 2008

Courses

Dept	Course Number	Section	Session	Grade	Hours Carried	Hours Earned	Quality Points
CMST (Performance Literature)	2040	002		B	3.00	3.00	9.00
ENGL (Post-Colonial Indian Literature)	4680	001		A	3.00	3.00	12.00
HIST (American History 1492-1865)	2055	003		A	3.00	3.00	12.00
POLI (American Gov't.)	2051	001		B	3.00	3.00	9.00
REL (Judaism)	3100	001		A	3.00	3.00	12.00
THTR (Improv. Acting)	1025	006		A	3.00	3.00	12.00

I have now finished my LAST assignment for my undergraduate career!!!

 

I'm done writing my paper about Shabbetai Zvi ... so he can now go away and leave me the hell alone!  False messiah... booger-nut...

I just reread one of my essays for Judaism... (hence the title).  I can't post it because that would be against school policy apparently.  It's not that great anyway. 

 

I was just thinking though... how can so many people be so terribly unhappy with their life.  I mean these are not people who are starving in a country with a truly oppressive system.  My honorary aunt put it in perspective for me when I said something about not liking the government we have... She asked if I'd rather something like they've got in Eritrea.  Our church has missionary friends that were kicked out of that country--they were nearly imprisoned for their faith.  Many of their friends are imprisoned... and third world country prisons--we just don't have a clue... really.  I'm digressing something terrible...

 

I'm talking about working Americans who can't find anything to be happy about.  I'm not even talking about people who complain a lot--I can understand that, even if it can be annoying.  You know, I understand I'm not in their head and all... but I truly pity them.  It makes me greatful that I do have things I like to do... that I have goals that I actually WANT to attain... that I've got a wonderful fiancee who truly loves me... that I've got real friends and good family.  My God in heaven is gracious to me for these things!  So I'm thankful... yes indeed.

 

 

Okay, so I'm graduating LSU... like next week.  (BA: English--Creative Writing).  I have my American History final this evening, then I have my Performance Lit final tomorrow afternoon, and finally final Judaism final Friday at 12:30... which thankfully I just have to write 5 take-home essays on different topics.  I had to write a speech to give to Vespasian (presuming I was Yohanan Ben Zakkai) during the siege of Jerusalem.  I'm working on my "Describe the five sects of Judaism in the first century and tell which sect you would belong to and why."  I just finished describing the sects... and I don't know which to pick (I'm eliminating Nazarenes because that's just too obvious.)  I don't think I could be an Essene because they were generally celibate... no marriage!  I couldn't be a Sadducee because they were Roman lapdogs... traitors!  Zealots?  Fight Rome just because you should!  Ehh... they were pretty mean to other Jews too.  I guess I'd be a Pharisee, a little more mainstream, believing that God cares about every part of your life, etc.  The Essenes and Nazarenes did too... but the Essenes didn't marry... and that's not forward thinking if you ask me.

 

In other news, it's my last day to work at the library.  HOORAY!  I'm so sick of this basement... I mean, it's been great.  I love all the ladies I worked with... but it's time to move on to new things.  Hopefully I'll be teaching high school this fall.  But we shall see... we shall see.

 

Commencement is May 16th.... partying commences this Friday.