Who do you go to when there's nothing left?

I have now finished my LAST assignment for my undergraduate career!!!

 

I'm done writing my paper about Shabbetai Zvi ... so he can now go away and leave me the hell alone!  False messiah... booger-nut...

I just reread one of my essays for Judaism... (hence the title).  I can't post it because that would be against school policy apparently.  It's not that great anyway. 

 

I was just thinking though... how can so many people be so terribly unhappy with their life.  I mean these are not people who are starving in a country with a truly oppressive system.  My honorary aunt put it in perspective for me when I said something about not liking the government we have... She asked if I'd rather something like they've got in Eritrea.  Our church has missionary friends that were kicked out of that country--they were nearly imprisoned for their faith.  Many of their friends are imprisoned... and third world country prisons--we just don't have a clue... really.  I'm digressing something terrible...

 

I'm talking about working Americans who can't find anything to be happy about.  I'm not even talking about people who complain a lot--I can understand that, even if it can be annoying.  You know, I understand I'm not in their head and all... but I truly pity them.  It makes me greatful that I do have things I like to do... that I have goals that I actually WANT to attain... that I've got a wonderful fiancee who truly loves me... that I've got real friends and good family.  My God in heaven is gracious to me for these things!  So I'm thankful... yes indeed.

 

 

Okay, so I'm graduating LSU... like next week.  (BA: English--Creative Writing).  I have my American History final this evening, then I have my Performance Lit final tomorrow afternoon, and finally final Judaism final Friday at 12:30... which thankfully I just have to write 5 take-home essays on different topics.  I had to write a speech to give to Vespasian (presuming I was Yohanan Ben Zakkai) during the siege of Jerusalem.  I'm working on my "Describe the five sects of Judaism in the first century and tell which sect you would belong to and why."  I just finished describing the sects... and I don't know which to pick (I'm eliminating Nazarenes because that's just too obvious.)  I don't think I could be an Essene because they were generally celibate... no marriage!  I couldn't be a Sadducee because they were Roman lapdogs... traitors!  Zealots?  Fight Rome just because you should!  Ehh... they were pretty mean to other Jews too.  I guess I'd be a Pharisee, a little more mainstream, believing that God cares about every part of your life, etc.  The Essenes and Nazarenes did too... but the Essenes didn't marry... and that's not forward thinking if you ask me.

 

In other news, it's my last day to work at the library.  HOORAY!  I'm so sick of this basement... I mean, it's been great.  I love all the ladies I worked with... but it's time to move on to new things.  Hopefully I'll be teaching high school this fall.  But we shall see... we shall see.

 

Commencement is May 16th.... partying commences this Friday. 

Okay, so seriously... do we need another president whose motto appears to be "stay the course?"  I'm not talking about Iraq people... I'm simply talking about knowing when to quit.  Hillary seriously cannot still believe that she can still win this race.

I wish I could climb a guava tree

and sit among its fruit

in the shade of a yellow umbrella

and converse with black-faced langurs.

 

I would do better trying to understand

their tilted heads and curling lips

than beword the thoughts formed

in my own white-faced head.

 

I would hold a guava and recite lines

from Hamlet, so that when these poor langurs

are sat in front of a typewriter for billions of years,

they will sooner complete the works of Shakespeare.

 

I would teach them to use their tails,

show them it is what they do in the New World.
And they will know how to behave

when they discover America.

 

And I would climb down from the guava tree
satisfied with my Promethean evangelism,

with my following of black-faced langurs

disciples ready to do my bidding.

 

-JEBM '08

Sometimes, when I'm winning... I like to wait around for the kill.  I like to let my opponent build up her forces just a little bit.  So that the last battle appears a little more epic than it really is.  To pretend that there is a question of who will win. 

 

Sometimes, when I'm losing... I like to give up before I can be humiliated in annihilation.  I like to weigh my odds early and often--keep an eye on what my opponent is doing.  Forego the epic battle--disappear into the earth.  Become a forgotten civilization for archaeologists to discover and ponder.

 

Sometimes, when I'm winning... and I'm in that mock epic battle, I pull my forces and retreat to my base and allow my opponent to build back up her forces.  Then I'll go and assassinate her commander with my airforce or missile strike... to end it all quickly.  Because I've learned that epic battles are only great in loss.

 

Battles hold human meaning, whether in victory or defeat, in loss. 

 

"We are victorious!  But our faces are burned black--and forevermore our descendants will bear that mark!"  said the monkey army after defeating the Demon-king.

 

We are victorious!  But what will be our scar?  My face is not burned black like Hanuman's legions... not yet. 

Someone is in a snowglobe--

You may see her,

but you cannot touch.

 

Someone smiles at you.

White flecks beat

her face red--

that perfect blush

on fair skin.

 

Someone is white snow:

Buries you.

Someone melts in summer:
Melts you.

 

Someone is in a snowglobe--
Drowning--
in glitter and snow.

Begging you to smash

boundaries.

 

Someone laughs (a little)
holds back tears.

Someone is a figurine in a snowglobe--

 

-JEBM '08